Redeeming Memory
How God Transforms Memories from a Heavy Burden to a Blessed Hope
Book by Matt Rehrer, M.D.
A Book Review
The purpose of memories is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. As with every aspect of life on earth, our memories have been impacted by the curse of sin. In “Redeeming Memory”, Matt Rehrer, M.D. shows how even though our memories may be difficult and traumatic, memory is one aspect in which we are made in the image of God. We have a God who remembers and therefore, is faithful to everything He promises.
The first portion of the book deals with the malady of memory. The curse of sin has warped our ability to remember perfectly. Because we all are drawn to self worship, our memory often inflates self through memory. We tend to remember ourselves in a better light than reality and tend to inflate our own capability, importance, or worth and deflate God. Rehrer summarizes the pride elements of memory by saying, “credit shifting from God to self demonstrates the level of corruption of the mind, willing to soar to heights of irrationality rather than honor God”. He quotes Spurgeon who said, “For memory grasps with an iron hand ill things but the good she holds with feeble fingers.” We cannot trust our memories to be accurate in reflection of God, His character, or His promises. Our memories are corrupt.
Other types of corruption involve regret. Memories of regret focus on what could have been or what we should have done. This is another way we elevate ourselves and assume that we are better and more capable than we are. The idea that WE should know, WE should have done something disregards that only God is sovereign and only God stands outside of time giving Him the wisdom to bring His will to be. Regret shows us that we desire to be the god of our own lives rather than trust God. A.W. Tozer is quoted as saying “Regret may be no more than a form of self-love. A man may have such a high regard for himself that any failure to live up to his own image of himself disappoints him deeply. This state of mind crystalizes finally into a feeling of chronic regret which appears to be a proof of deep penitence but is actually proof of deep self-love.” We deceive ourselves into thinking we are godly in concern over God’s glory when in reality we are focused on self and our own glory. Past decisions are a window in the worship of our heart.
We also distort the past in comparison to the present. We tend to look fondly on the past and then grumble and complain about the present. Just like the Israelites who grumble and complain in the wilderness longing for the days of Egypt where they were slaves and worked nearly to death. This wrong remembering leads to bitterness, regret, shame, and unrepentant guilt as it places self in the judgment seat over God. Rehrer quotes author Kyle David Bennet who says, “Nostalgia hijacks memory… In nostalgia, one sacrifices the present and the possibility of the future as one squats in the past. Nostalgia implies that God is present in one moment and not another, or more perniciously, that one prefers to be in a previous, unlivable moment more than the one God has brought them to now.” But in His divine wisdom, God has ordained every moment of life to work good in the life of the believer.
Rehrer addresses other maladies of memory in discussing guilt, shame, distortions of memory, and forgetting God and His attributes, promises, and work. The middle section deals with how the memory works from a medical standpoint, though much is not known. Rehrer makes suggestions for improving memory and working to adapt to the errors in memory we tend toward.
The last portion of the book is by far the highlight.
Throughout scripture we are called to remember God. We need to remember who He is and what He has done. We need “future memory” that calls to mind the precious and great promises God has made. God’s memory is perfect and holy, so we know He will be faithful to fulfill every single promise. We also need to rightly remember who we are as sinners and completely dependent on God. Rehrer looks at Hebrews 10:32-33 and poses the ideas “why is it better for these Christians to remember their suffering rather than erase it? Wouldn’t it be better to not have any recall of this pain or the potential to relieve it? Would anything be lost by erasing all suffering from the memory?”
In counseling there is a desire to not relive horrific moments or traumatic events of life. Many do seem to think that finding ways to “forget” what has happened is helpful. New therapies are being created to change how memories work. EMDR and other therapies are geared toward helping people almost erase memories. However, Redeeming Memory gives the biblical approach.
Rehrer goes on to say, if the sufferer does not recall or remember their suffering, the lose the benefit of growing. The sufferer loses the joy of triumph and the opportunity to worship and praise God in the celebration of God’s work. Suffering forces the sufferer to reckon with God and who He is. Spurgeon is quoted, “Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have placed you there.” Suffering is part of living in a fallen world and allows us to see how God uses evil for your good. Just as the resurrection is a memory of triumph, it is made all the more glorious by the memory of the cross.
Rehrer also points out that God chooses to “forget” and commands us to forget! But what should we forget? Paul writes, “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). Paul is saying he needs to forget his past accolades and his own self-righteousness. When we forget accolades and accomplishments, we can focus on God and His goodness rather than becoming prideful. We should forget our past way of life. We should “forget” the well worn paths of sin and that which entangled us so that we are free of the idols of our past.
We also should forget past offenses. This is a slightly different way of forgetting. Rehrer says, “if you carefully define forgetfulness to mean that an offense may still be recalled in fact but without bitter affect. Forgiveness does not mean the past offense is condoned or justified. Forgiveness is not permissiveness. Rather, forgiveness acknowledges the pain as pain but extinguishes the bitterness in the pain.” Our distorted memory causes us to remember our hurts and how others have sinned against us in an inflated way and to diminish our own faults and sins. Ecclesiastes tells us “not to take seriously all the words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you. For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others” (7:21-22). Your recall of sins against you can be recalled through the blood that pardoned your sin. As we rightly forget, we can choose to remember more about God and the important things of His attributes and promises.
The last few chapters look at “future remembrance” and the blessings of knowing God’s promises and trusting in them. “God’s remembrance of His precious promises secures your future remembrance. The psalmist places his hope in God’s future remembrance when he says, “He has remembered His covenant forever, the word which He commanded to a thousand generations” (Psalm 105:8). As we look to what heaven holds, we need not fear insignificance, suffering, death, or frailty. We can remember our weakness with hope because God remembers our weakness. Perseverance is developed in weakness as we wait on the Lord. “Waiting is the fertile ground for an active memory to persevere. The mind continues to move quickly while the surrounding sufferings squeeze in. Weakness and waiting are connected in Isaiah as God comforts His people. The unwary God “gives strength to the weary and to him who lacks might He increases power” (Isaiah 40:29). God is equal to the task of the comfort He promises His people. God blows away the righteous like stubble but blows the wind that lifts up the weary on eagles’ wings. The weary wait, God delivers.” When we know God, we know the one who is able to guard what we have entrusted to Him (2 Timothy 1:12). Take heart, and remember God!
I recommend this book for counselors. You will face men and women who want to remove “trauma” and the difficulty of facing bad memories. Encourage them that we have a God who remembers, and it is God’s design that we have memories. Memories are for the purpose of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. We must remember in order to glorify God!