Parenting to the Glory of God #1
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Deuteronomy 6 is a key passage for parents to know and understand. God gives clear instruction to parents on how to be faithful in parenting. Faithful parenting begins with God and the parent, before ever considering the child. This is a helpful passage to minister to parents who are preparing for a baby or already parenting young kids.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.”
Parenting begins with God. God is speaking to His people and the first thing He reminds them of is who He is. The Lord God is one. God is calling for His people, parents specifically, to honor Him alone. This is a call to put all other gods aside and to worship whole-heartedly God.
As you identify the idols that are in your counselee’s heart, show them how God is the greater way to meet those desires. God approves of His people in Christ.
It is Christ’s righteousness and holiness that make us acceptable and approved of by God.
God is the greater comfort that His children can run to and experience the comfort of God’s presence and promises. Rather than run to the comforts of this life, whether it is having an easy day, being uninterrupted from a quiet evening or a hobby you enjoy, the greater comfort is from a God who gives strength and grace to parent well.
God is the only Sovereign that controls every aspect of life. We can trust God’s wisdom, love, and goodness as He controls every aspect of life.
2. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.”
Counsel parents to grow in the knowledge and understanding of God and His love for them in Christ.
Use the gospel as a starting point. God loved His people so much that he willingly sacrificed His Only Son to bring His people to Himself. God’s love is sacrificial and costly. As we point parents to the work of Christ, and the heart of the Father who designed this plan of redemption, we pray that parents will grow in their love for God. God commands that His commands be on the hearts of the parents!
Here’s where understanding what Christ has done on the cross, making them a saint, really matters. As they parent each day, help your counselee to understand that they can depend on the power of the Holy Spirit to love their child as God would have them love.
We cannot teach our children what we do not have in our own hearts. A love for God and His word begins in the hearts of parents. If the parents you are counseling do not love God or are not displaying this in their home, that is the starting point of counseling.
Is the parent regularly reading and studying God’s word?
Have them study God’s attributes and God’s promises. Show them how they can trust specific promises of God in parenting. There are no guarantees that a child will grow up to meet a parent’s expectations, but God promises His presence and to be faithful to the believing parent. God will provide the strength and grace to parent well in difficult situations.
3. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
Parents are commanded to teach their children about God.
God’s command assumes that the parents are the authority in the home. A home is not to be based on a child’s demands, wants, or emotions. Parents are commanded to teach children. The 5th commandment: Honor Your Father and Mother also points to parental authority. Parents must establish that they are the authority in the home, and this authority is given to them by God.
This starts with the command to know God as the One True God. From birth, parents are to talk with their children about God, orient life around the Creator and Sustainer of all things. It is God alone who is worthy of worship and the way we talk about God AND the way we live our lives should be evidence that we worship God alone.
Parents are to teach diligently.
This is an ongoing, daily interaction with our children. To be diligent is to give time and intentionality to our instruction about God, His attributes, His promises, and His gospel work in Christ. Scripture here defines diligent as a moment to moment focus on who God is. As you sit in your house, is it evident that God is the focus of life? Do you live as God is the sovereign and good God who reigns in your life? As you walk by the way, is it evident in your words and actions that God is the focus of your life. Are you demonstrating that Christ has saved you from your sin and set you free to love God and others? Do you instruct your children with words about how to do that as they see you live that out? When you tuck your kids into bed, is it evident that the love of Christ is what drives your thoughts, words, and actions? As your kids get ready for bedtime, is it a loving atmosphere or a threatening, angry one trying to get them to obey? This call to teach diligently is about life.
When you sin against your children, are you demonstrating what repentance looks like? When we get angry with our children or do not show patience and gentleness, we have the opportunity to demonstrate godly sorrow and repentance to them. This is part of diligently teaching them the gospel. We can model repentance by confessing our sin to God and to our children, asking for forgiveness, and committing to respond in a God-honoring way in the future.
4. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Binding the words of God on our hands, foreheads, doorposts and gates means that God’s word is the foundation of our lives and homes. God’s word should be what guides our decisions as parents. We should be looking to God’s word for what to value in our homes, how to discipline our kids, what media we watch and use in our homes. God and His word should be central to everything about life.
God is sovereign over each individual’s salvation. A parent does not make their child believe and trust God. God calls parents to be faithful to love God foremost and to worship Him alone. Then a parent is to teach their children diligently who God is and what He has done in Christ. Each parent should be praying that God would have mercy on their child and give their child the heart of “good soil” (Matthew 13:1-9) that hears the word and receives it to produce the fruit of repentance and faith.