Parenting to the Glory of God #2
Hebrews 12:3-11.
We have a Heavenly Father who disciplines His children. We learn from God that discipline is necessary and is an act of love. God’s discipline is aimed at His children sharing in His holiness. What a high calling of parents to discipline their children with the aim to help their children reap a harvest of righteousness in their lives. This is another passage to minister to your counselee who is struggling with parenting. As they see discipline as an act of love, help them implement the truths here in practical ways that is appropriate to their children’s ages and circumstances.
“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
When we are faced with temptation - to be angry with our children, to be selfish with our time, to be anxious about their future or choices, to be silent and not confront sin - we should not give up on faithful parenting. Our focus should be to consider Christ. When the bible uses the word “consider” it means to think deeply about, to turn over in the mind, to meditate. We are to stop and think deeply about Christ.
He suffered far greater than anyone else ever will. As we consider Jesus and his sacrifice, we see God’s love for us and can trust that He has taken the punishment for our sins. Whatever trial we are facing, in this case, parenting problems, we know God is not punishing or condemning us. God gives us trials to grow our faith and to grow dependence on Him.
2. God disciplines His children. God equates discipline with love.
We learn from God that training and disciplining our children is a loving thing to do! We imitate God the Father when we love our rebellious children enough to discipline them.
Depending on the age, discipline looks different. A young child needs to learn obedience. In love, a parent may need to pick a child up and move them out of a situation where they are being sinful or disobedient. For example, when a two year old hits his brother, we should intervene and discipline with teaching and instruction.
A worldly view of love is that love always approves of others or does what the other person wants. The world says we should let people express themselves emotionally and let them be whatever they want to be. This is not love.
“God is love” means that God defines love and he defines love as whatever is necessary to glory His name. We have examples of Jesus talking to the Woman at the Well and telling her to “go and sin no more”. Jesus did not ignore her sin with men to make her feel good. Jesus knew that rebuke and correction were necessary for her to live obediently and experience the joy of being in relationship with God. When Jesus talked to the Rich Young Ruler, Jesus didn’t tell him he could love his money and Jesus. Jesus addressed the Rich Young Ruler’s greatest need and that was to get rid of his greatest love - his money - and follow Jesus instead. The Rich Young Ruler goes away sad. Jesus didn’t try to make him feel good. Jesus told him what was best and necessary for him to have eternal life.
3. God disciplines His children for “their good” so that they may share His holiness.
We should discipline for our children’s good. This changes our focus of discipline. It is not to make our lives easier or convenient. It is not so our children don’t embarrass us or cause us shame.
Disciplining for our children’s good is pointing them to Christ as Lord and Savior and disciplining so they see God clearly as the holy God He is. Disciplining for our children’s good means we will discipline with God honoring words and actions. We are setting an example of what God’s discipline is like. Just as God disciplines His children to love and honor Him more, that is our goal of parenting. We want our kids to “share in God’s holiness” so we want to make God’s grace and love appealing to our kids.
Only God can grant our children salvation. We do not have the ability to make our children have faith, repent of their sins, or trust in Christ. Only God opens the eyes of sinners to see their need for Christ as Savior and Lord. Only God can grant the gift of faith by grace.
But we do, as parents, play a role to present the gospel to our children in times of discipline. The way that we respond to rebellion or disabilities will demonstrate to our children what it looks like to trust in God. Does the parents' response show a trust that God is sovereign, good, wise, and loving. If we truly trust that this is who God is, we will be calm in our circumstances and choose words and actions that display a love for God and all that He is. If we trust that Christ has forgiven our sins and made us holy and righteous, we will depend on the Holy Spirit’s power and grace to respond to our children.
When a child needs discipline for sinful behavior, a parent’s relationship with the Lord is exposed. Challenge your counselee to examine their responses. Does their response to their children’s behavior display the power and glory of God? Or, does their response reflect that they are depending on their own strength? Help them learn to “consider” Christ and His suffering and to give thanks for the loving discipline he or she has received from the Lord. God’s love turns us toward Him, and our love for our children, even in discipline, should turn our children to the Lord.